How Much of Reality is Perception?

It’s that time again… yes, another post from my friend and colleague, Mark Murphy.  As a facilitator of 7 Habits for many years, Mark brings great insight today about our paradigms and how that affects our reality.  Enjoy!

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I recently watched a TED clip (above) by Shawn Achor, author of the book “The Happy Secret to Better Work”.  He is the CEO of Good Think Inc. and studies the science of “Positive Psychology”.  In economics and statistics, one of the first things taught is how to eliminate data that falls outside of the average, how to eliminate the outliers to achieve the average.  But if you’re studying potential, creativity, energy or productivity, it’s imperative to escape what he calls the “Cult of the Average” in science. When asked the question “How fast can a child learn how to read in a classroom?”, science immediately changes the question to “How fast does the average child learn to read in the classroom?”  Then the class is tailored to the average.

“Positive Psychology” studies the physical and psychological implications of the premise that if we focus on what is merely average, we will remain merely average. Instead of automatically deleting the outlier in science, Shawn Achor believes we should study that outlier and ask “why”, not just to move people up to the average, but to move the entire average up.

The news constantly bombards us with stories of corruption, war, crime and sickness until our brain begins to believe that this ratio of negative to positive information is the norm. “It’s not necessarily reality that shapes us, but the lens through which your brain views the world that shapes your reality.  If we can change the lens, we can change not only our happiness, but every single business and educational outcome at the same time.”

In Victor Frankl’s autobiography, Man’s Search for Meaning, he recounts his horrific experiences as a Jewish Austrian psychiatrist held prisoner in the concentration camps of Nazi Germany.  He says that ultimately it wasn’t physical strength or endurance that made the difference between those that survived and those that didn’t.  Those that survived had a vision of some greater purpose yet to be fulfilled in their own lives.  It was that deep inner sense of purpose and mission that often determined the difference between life and death.

I love Marianne Williamson’s book A Discourse on Miracles.  In it, she states that it’s not what happens to us in life that determines our happiness, but rather how we choose to respond to what happens to us that determines our happiness.  I’ve observed that very premise often in my own life.  I know people who have been handed everything in life that they could ever want and are still miserable people.  I’ve also known people who seem to endure trial after trial in life and yet are still very upbeat, happy people. 

Stephen R. Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, says it this way: “No one sees the world as it is…we all see the world as we are.”  Every individual has a lens of beliefs  and experiences (paradigms) that we use to interpret the world around us. 

If we desire to change our lives we can simply work on our behaviors.  But if we want that change to be enduring, lasting and meaningful we need to change our beliefs.  If you listen to Shawn Achor, there seems to be a growing body of science that backs that up.

- Mark Murphy, FranklinCovey Consultant             

Copyright © 2012 - Mark Murphy

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Wishing you a Happy Easter Weekend!

- John Vakidis

The Power of Positive Questions

Today’s post comes to you written by J.D. Frailey, FranklinCovey Consultant.  Take a moment to read this post and examine yourself and your team afterwards.  What kinds of questions are you formulating together to drive your business forward?  Enjoy!

“Why can’t I find time to do things before the deadline?”

“Why can’t I stick to an exercise program?”

“Why can’t I get people to communicate with each other?”

 If you’ve ever asked yourself questions like these—and who hasn’t—it was probably in frustration, maybe even with hands thrown up, awash in a feeling of anger or helplessness.    

But here is something to consider: maybe the questions themselves are the problem, specifically the way you’ve worded them.   

You see, the human brain is excellent at answering questions and solving problems, that’s what it does.  So—be really careful as to how you word the questions  you ask yourself, because your brain will do its best to answer those questions, and the answers will either help you solve problems and move forward—or create more problems and hold you back.

Every answer to a question that begin with “Why can’t I—?“ is an OBSTACLE to what you want, a reason why you CAN’T, whether those answers are logical or even true. 

“Why can’t I find time to do things before the deadline?”  Because I’m too busy, because I’m a procrastinator, because I watch too much television, etc., etc.

“Why can’t I stick to an exercise program?”  Because I don’t have time, because I hate to exercise, because I’m lazy, etc., etc.

Why can’t I get people to communicate with each other?”  Because they’re lazy, because they don’t get it, because they want me to do everything for them, etc., etc.

The result?  We are frustrated and we don’t get the results we want.

But what if you worded those same questions such that the answers are solutions rather than obstacles?

“How can I find time to do things before the deadline?”  As taught in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People or the FranklinCovey goal setting process:  Start early, allot a bit of time each day, block out distractions while I work on the project, etc.

“How can I stick to an exercise program?”   As recommended in The 5 Choices to Extraordinary Productivity:  Work out with a partner, plan and schedule my exercise time in advance, set specific goals and record my progress, remind myself of the benefits of good health, etc.

Here is an example.  I once worked with a client, a sales manager, who was frustrated that his team was convinced they could not meet a sales goal imposed by corporate, and therefore, he felt, were not really trying.  After sharing the power of positive questions with him, he called his team together in a conference room.  He titled a flipchart, “Why can’t we reach the sales quota goal?”  He said to his team, “I know you feel strongly that the goal is unrealistic, unreachable, and I need to clearly understand why you feel this way, I need to understand what the obstacles are.  So let’s hear them, and don’t hold back.”

His team mistakenly felt they had convinced him the goal was unreachable, that he had come to them for ammunition so he could push back on corporate, and they really opened up. 

“It’s the economy!”  “Look at what the competition is offering!”  “We have too many other priorities!”  And on and on.

He recorded every obstacle on the flip chart page, and after about five minutes the page was nearly filled.  “Is there anything else?”   When he was sure there were no more obstacles, he tore the page from the flip chart stand and turned to his team.  “Follow me,” he said. 

Confused, they followed him outside and to a far corner of the parking lot.  Without a word, he wadded up the flipchart sheet, got a lighter from his pocket, and held the flame to the paper.  When it had ignited he dropped it to the asphalt and stood with his team watching until it had extinguished itself.

He turned to face his team.  “Now let’s be clear,” he said in a quiet voice.  “We are going to reach the goal, and we are going to do it the right way, period.  I have tremendous confidence in you, and in our ability as a group to get creative and to work hard and to make that number.  We’re going back in that room, and I don’t want to hear one more word about why we can’t.  We are only going to focus on how we can.  And as a group we ARE going to get there.  Come with me.”

They followed him back into the building and into the conference room, obviously down and disheartened.   They watched as he headed a clean flipchart sheet, “How can we reach the sales quota goal?”

“All right,” he said, marker in hand.  “Let’s hear your ideas.  I know it will be a challenge, but how can we get there?”

After a silence that had begun to stretch to an uncomfortable length, one of the sales reps finally spoke up.  “Well, there is one thing I’ve begun doing that has gotten me some really good appointments.  What I do is…” 

“Great idea,” the manager said, and wrote it down.  “What else?”

After a shorter silence, another team member raised her hand and shared an idea regarding benefits comparisons.  The manager wrote this idea down, then turned around to see two more hands raised to share ideas.  After ten minutes the flipchart was nearly filled with over a dozen ideas for increasing sales. 

Any guesses on what ultimately happened?  The team exceeded the “impossible” goal by over five percent. 

If you really want to reach a difficult goal or solve a tough problem, and you find yourself stuck, be sure to ask questions that provide answers, not obstacles, and you greatly increase your odds of success.

J.D. Frailey, FranklinCovey Consultant      

Copyright © 2012 - J.D. Frailey

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We hope that you found today’s post thought provoking about your paradigms as a leader and the culture of your team.  If you would like to visit with us to discuss enabling your culture to achieve new and better results, let’s talk!

Enabling greatness one organization at a time,

John Vakidis

Associate Client Partner | FranklinCovey

214.387.9960 | john.vakidis@franklincovey.com

Let's connect online: LinkedIn & Twitter

Attitude is Everything

It’s the first Friday of February, so today I bring you the second post by my colleague, Mark Murphy.  Last month Mark authored a blog titled, Networking and Trust.  Today, Mark writes about something close to my heart.  The subject is Attitude is Everything.  See if today’s post resonates with you and if it does, feel free to post the URL on Facebook or Twitter.  Who knows, maybe you’ll be able to help someone else with their attitude.  Enjoy!_______________________________________________________________________

“If you want to build a ship, don't drum up the men to gather wood, divide the work, and give orders. Instead, teach them to yearn for the vast and endless sea.” —Antoine de Saint Exupery

Our attitudes and beliefs drive our behaviors; our behaviors in turn determine results.  For example, some managers could have the belief that people over 50 are incapable of embracing technology; therefore deciding that anything having to do with innovative technology on a project should be the responsibility of younger IT team members.  This could potentially cause problems on the team. There may be older members of the team who are quite tech savvy and some younger team members who aren’t.  We sometimes make assumptions which can be inaccurate and can cause trouble if not clarified. Remember, Steve Jobs was in his 50’s as is Bill Gates.

The See-Do-Get cycle from Dr. Steven Covey’s book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, illustrates how our attitudes drive behaviors which ultimately determine results.  As an example of how the model works, let’s take a cue from history. 

Imagine that we are all physicians in the 15th century. What was the belief system held regarding illness in the 15th century?  Where did it reside in the body? Answer:  If you were sick, you were thought to have bad blood – a condition that meant that you were probably evil to some degree. If that’s our paradigm, the way we “see” things, what do we “do” to heal patients? We bleed them. What kinds of results do we probably get? Dead people. 

As physicians, we’ve taken the Hippocratic Oath.  We sincerely have a desire to help people.   It’s obvious we’re not getting very good results. We determine that we have to “do” something different.  If our paradigm doesn’t change-- the belief continues to be that illness comes from bad blood--and taking small quantities of blood isn’t working, what should we do?  Take more blood out! Possibly get them more involved in their healing process by letting them put their own leaches on. What are the results? Exactly, even more dead people.

Let’s imagine one of us, we’ll call him Louis Pasteur, comes up with a very heretical idea that it’s possible illness doesn’t necessarily reside in the blood, but actually comes from  tiny particles in the air that we can’t even see that we’re going to call “germs”.  If that becomes our new paradigm, what might we do differently?  Answer: We could separate or quarantine patients so they don’t spread disease.  We could begin to sterilize instruments between patient visits.  We could wash our hands.  If we were to begin to do some of these things, we would eventually get different, and possibly better, results.

Does that mean the paradigm of illness residing in the blood is completely incorrect?  Of course not. There is Leukemia and many viruses that are blood-borne diseases.  Does it mean the belief is completely correct either?  

No – as managers we need to be willing to be flexible and adapt our paradigms to a diverse set of facts.

“I have never learned anything from any man who agreed with me.” —Dudley Field Malone

- Mark Murphy, FranklinCovey Consultant             

Copyright © 2012 - Mark Murphy

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If you are interested in learning more about our 7 Habits Solutions, consider setting up an appointment to meet with Mark and your FranklinCovey Client Partner.  Schedule an appointment today with our online appointment book (top right side of this page.)

Enabling greatness one organization at a time,

John Vakidis

Associate Client Partner | FranklinCovey

214.387.9960 | john.vakidis@franklincovey.com